One week ago this image would have made me burst into tears. The frustratedFTHISwhatdoIdo kind.
But now?
Now it makes me smile and has become the perfect descriptor of my last couple of weeks. Seeing it made me smile and know that the "aha" moments I've had were really "aha-s" and not just things I tricked myself into believing.
I had a serious tug-of-war battle between accepting the fateful move to LA or flipping the script and going for it all in Portland. Both had great opportunities full of potential for me to find, create, grab, and run with. Both had pros and cons lists with the EXACT SAME number of pros and cons. Both were far from home. Both had boys I hadn't met yet. Both could fail miserably.
After much debate, prayer, and input from those around me I finally figured out that there isn't ALWAYS a right and a wrong choice. Sometimes there is just a choice and you have to make it regardless of what could have been waiting behind curtain #2.
And then I realized this! [I know, I know...I had a day of genius]
This...that you know what? How laughable is all my stress and scrutiny! How funny that I really think I have that much control. Sure, I've got the ability to choose and to create...but to a point. Am I really so large and in charge that I believe one small choice is going to be the defining moment of the rest of my life? That I can get in the way of God's plan for my life? HA!! Silly girl...
And after I laughed at myself guess what happened...I started to breathe again. It was a lovely breath too.
And so now I realize (as I'm sure someone else has done and written really articulate, scientific, and inspired novels about) that one way or another...I'll get there. Where ever there even is...I'll get there because I have to. Because all of that is already planned out for me I just gotta live it and soak it in and be the best at whatever is in front of me.
Tiana
I'm just a girl going places
