Insanity

For I do not do the good I want to do, 

but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

Romans 7:19

Time after time after time too. Like a wild animal with no ability to reason or feel emotion or learn from experience...actually even unintelligent wild animals learn not to touch the fire twice, damn!

I'm laughing as I write this but seriously though. You have three degrees girl, you know some stuff, lived some life, learned some things. 

what. is. the. deal?!

I know what is right and wrong and I know what kind of person I truly am so why do I keep doing exactly what I don't want to do even after specifically pointing it out and mentally (okay fine sometimes out loud) telling myself, "NO!"?

It's not my voice I'm hearing when I indulge such desires but it's deception disguised as my own. I Listen which is what turns the accountability on me. Especially because I know better and don't want this behavior for my life. 

Is it deep-rooted psychological issues coming out to play the only way they're being allowed? A cry for attention? Insecurities I'm not facing? Probably. 

Right now though I don't have the cash for a spot on a stiff chase lounge to work all that stuff out so I need to continue to seek out the only counselor I'll ever truly need and take this issue at the face value I can afford. I'm allowing sinful thoughts to become my own and act upon them. The end. 

Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. 

I'm taking that slap in the face and using it. Thanks Albie.

-Tiana

I'm just a girl and I don't like to listen sometimes